Flag Day

Flag day represents the birth of our nations stars and stripes in 1777, 235 years ago. For me, this day represents several things some happy and some that pull at my heart strings.

As my birthday, it was almost always the last day of school and the start of summer vacation. I recall either not having to go to school or only having a half day filled with flag parades and cupcakes (decorated in red, white and blue). To keep with that tradition, as an adult, I always honor myself and take the day off from work. Can't recall the last time, I worked on my birthday. For years, I loved celebrating my birthday. Celebrating ME!

Last year, I celebrated my 40th birthday with the most amazing present of a positive home pregnancy test. I was pregnant again, after months of trying and experiencing my first miscarriage months earlier. Sadly, that pregnancy was not meant to be and I miscarried my sweet boy at only 7 weeks.

These days, I still take my birthday off but the feeling is a lot less celebratory. It's too hard for me to "celebrate" and although I woke up in a pretty decent mood, the tears are flowing today (and the injections haven't even started). It's another birthday (3 to be exact) that I am not a mom,still on that journey to have a healthy pregnancy and celebrating others births and not my own.

It took a while to determine what to do today. Acupuncture (thank goodness) was already on my calendar but I was indecisive about what else to do. Finally, scheduled a pedicure at the new Four Seasons Baltimore even though spending money at this time makes me cringe. A little pampering is good for my over health right?

A text message from a friend that she was off to the hospital to deliver a few weeks early made me smile. I think it was the question from my mother that made the tears flow (after I hung up of course!) "Did you hear, Joe Flacco's wife is in labor? (for you none football fans, he is the Ravens quarterback who also went to Delaware) Wouldn't that be great if she had her baby on your Bday?"

Sure.

Sorry, I am sure they are happy in their family but I would rather not celebrate strangers having babies. Another reminder, on this birthday that I am not s mom. I will do my nest to keep it together during my pedicure but I am sure I will lose it once I see cricket at acupuncture.

Better get myself looking somewhat presentable.... Happy Birthday, Stars and Stripes!!