Thankful

I posted this on a SMC forum but felt it should be part of my blog posts. A lot to be thankful for this year. 

I am thankful for this beautiful life that is finally growing inside me and I can't wait to meet my rainbow baby. 

I am thankful for all the medical staff I have met over the past 2 years. From my nurse @ my first RE office, to my nurse in Colorado that made the process so smooth and less scary to my current OB who answers my crazy emails at all hours of the day (already sent him a thankful email today)

I am thankful for my family and close friends who have embraced my choice of single mother hood without a blink of an eye. And have been with me on my long journey to be a mom. 

I am SO thankful for my KD who helped me create this beautiful life and gave something so selfless to another friend. 

I am thankful for my SMC family who over the past 2 years supported me during my highs and my very deep lows. Kept me going and encouraged me never to give up. 

And I must not forget to be thankful for lemonade that has gotten me through some queasy days (needed a humor one to stop all my tears!)

15 weeks

I spent the day of turning 15 weeks with my family in Philly. My cousin was running his 2nd marathon and a bunch of family was meeting in Philly to cheer him on. It's usually a quick drive up and back but I had to stop to pee on the way up. Something that almost ever has happened in the past. Welcome to a new bladder.

Last week, I was able to share my news with my management team. They were very excited about the news and even cheered when it was shared. A few have known that I had been trying but most did not. I received some congratulatory hugs after the meeting. It felt great to be able to just "hang out" and show my bump. I was so tired of hiding it. Of course, after putting out to the universe at work and the news of a staffs miscarriage, I had a slight panic. This resulted in a quick trip up to Mercy. 

My OB as always was empathetic to my anxiety and showed me a quick peek of the heartbeat. I told him I usually make it every 2 weeks. He grinned a huge smile and gave me a hug and sent me on my way. Exhale. 160 bpm. 

Back to my Philly trip, it was wonderful to spend time with my family. Aunts/uncles, cousins and new cousins girlfriends. After dinner Saturday evening, we headed back to west Philly were I stayed with my youngest cousin (we are pretty close). Up early to head back to center city to see my cousin at mile 6. We had a great time cheering on the other runners while waiting for him. It was pretty chilly and my morning queasiness hit me but I was able to grab a lemonade. We went back to my aunts to warm up and grab some food. We headed back towards the Art Museum and the finish line to cheer him the last few feet. It truly brought tears to my eyes to see him finish something he had trained for over the past year. We were all hooting and hollering with our signs!! 

I can see others are getting so excited for me as I run my "marathon" of pregnancy. It's been a long marathon that has stopped and started over the past 2 years. I feel like I am 1/3 of the way there. Looking forward to reaching the half way mark in a few weeks. It's a constant battle that I just need to pace myself and keep my eyes on the finish line. Marathons are about finishing but also enjoying the 26 miles along the way. I am working on that part. 

More to come at mile marker 4!!

14 weeks!!

Three and a half months!! Seems short considering all the waiting I have been doing. I prefer saying 14 weeks. Seems longer.

Slowly starting to tell more and more people. I told my admin assistant last week as she was starting to schedule meetings into May. She is super sweet and doesn't share anything with other staff. Trust her completely. I will tell my management team on Wednesday. It's been getting harder to hide the bump which could be mistaken for too many French fries (in my opinion). The scary part about telling others is just the reality of it all. Not that I am actually having a baby but putting my HOPE out there that I actually DO have a baby.

I have been pretty private about this process except for those that read my blog (which is a select group of close friends and my SMC family). I will continue to keep the blog private. Telling more people just makes me more nervous. Not sure I can explain it. I do continue to share the news but the anxiety is still there.

I finally found some maternity clothes as Kohls and Old Navy. Not many but some staple pieces. Going to check out a super Target on the recommendation of a friend. Target itself had a pretty limited maternity section. On-line is an option but I prefer to try on the clothes. The jeans and top I wore last night made it pretty obvious that I was indeed pregnant. I went to listen to my friend Nelson of Nellys Echo (he tried out in the Voice this season). He was back for at a local venue and I had to go congratulate him. It was great to be "out" with bump leading the way. Hope baby enjoyed the music!!

I also start back with acupuncture tomorrow and looking forward to the calmness. The anxiety has been there especially waiting for the next u/s (17 days but who is counting). I have also been interviewing doulas and attempting to determine if I will need one. My OB is a bit concerned about my ability to actually have a vaginal delivery. Apparently,it's not all about birthing hips and more about your internal pelvic structure. Who knew!!?  Too early to really tell but a looking into doulas for now.

I guess I had a lot to share. Trying to go back to my one day at a time. This is a mantra I was sharing wi another SMC today as she goes through her FET. I need to remember this for myself as well.

I shared my news with a coworker who was leaving our agency. She bought me a picture frame for my u/s photo and here is the quote on the side of the frame:

" it is truly amazing how something so small could ignite a love so grand"

2nd Trimester!

Just a quick update to let everyone know that I have hit a huge milestone.....2nd Trimester!!! A first for me and my sweet bean!

Things are looking good despite some groin pain and back pain things are looking good.

More to come!

Busy Day

Halloween was a busy day for me and my pumpkin!!

I quickly wanted to update everyone that my 12 week ultrasound went extremely well and baby was looking pretty good. Moving and sucking her thumb and doing lots of flips. The nucheal test  along with blood work to evaluate for downs, trisomy 13 and 18, showed a very low risk for any of them. This also in conjunction with the embryo being chromosomally tested by Colorado, my OB didn't believe i needed an amino. Whew.

It was an amazing day seeing my sweet baby move and flip. Officially, I was discharged from CCRM (which was bittersweet!) but a milestone nonetheless.

I also was able to find out the sex of the baby. I have been referring to the baby as a "her" all along. Still waiting to tell a few friends what the gender is so I won't be posting it on here just yet.

I am adding a picture of my sweet pumpkin for your viewing pleasure!! Back for anatomy scans and cervical check in 4 weeks. i should be able to make it that long without freaking out? HA! Thats yet to be determined too....