SIX

Today my little BB is six weeks. Still isn't causing any havoc on my body just yet. Have been trying to remain calm about that since CCRM is not concerned.

Will have an early progesterone blood check on Monday at my old REs office which will be turned around very quickly. Will need to identify a lab that will turn around the levels next day since I can't continue to pay out of pocket. It's silly. Will figure that out this week, waiting to head back from PCP office.

Six weeks has a lot of meaning to me. Medically, it's the week when you should be able to see the developing embryo and the heartbeat. Historically, for me it's when things go south. I know my BB is  chromosomally healthy. I need to be patient to see his beating heart. My ultrasound scheduled for Wednesday is 6w3days.....may be a bit early but I know I have the best medical support and docs working with me.

One of my closests friends since childhood is also trying to have a baby. Her and her husband have been trying about 6 months longer than I have been. It's been a long process for both of us. Never thought we would be in this scenario at the same time in our lives. Yesterday, they got some positive news within their process. In sharing the feedback with me, she said if all goes as planned our kids will grow up together. I lost it. I started crying and thinking about this statement today made me start crying all over again.

It would be a wonderful to have my child grow up with my best friends kids. Another close friend is also attempting to have a baby. Although she has only been trying for a few months, I am excited about the possibility of our future kids being so close!

As elated as this makes me, it still brings up those feelings of nervousness. BP asked me today how far I had gone in my previous pregnancies. They all went to 7 weeks except one went to 10 weeks. I have never had a positive strong all things look great heartbeat. Most u/s end up with me being super sad and waiting one more week to confirm the worst.

BB will be different. It has to be different. I guess I will find out soon enough. Worry and anxiety won't change the outcome. Nothing will. I have done everything I can possible do to have a healthy baby.

And we wait.