Couldn't really believe it. I have had 7 IUIs, 2 try's with BP and this will be IVF #1. This process has been going on for over 2 years (since July 3rd, 2010). I can't even count the number of blood draws, ovulation kits, vaginal ultrasounds, prenatal vitamins (with extra folic acid) and acupuncture needles I have gone through.
The IVF process started at my one day work up in Colorado on April 16th. Here we go again. Back to Denver for the 3rd time this year for the frozen transfer. I still really can't think much past Friday. Hoping that my little BB makes it past the thaw in the morning. They have a 95% successful thaw rate. With only one little pumpkin, I can't be that 5%. My biggest fear right now. The thought that makes my stomach do flips. Moving on.
At my last acupuncture session with Cricket as she was focusing on keeping me at peace, she spoke about trying to find the connection between my heart and uterus. I can't verbalize the fear that's inside of me as I move forward on this journey. The fear of what ifs. So, I don't like to talk about them. I don't like to talk about next steps past this weekend. I don't like to put them out in the universe. Maybe the universe might hear them. So I keep them to myself. Cricket reminded me to honor those feelings and it's ok to have that conversation internally. To try and find that peace between my heart and my uterus; my temple. I will work on that on the plane.
So, I am going through the motions of getting ready to fly to Denver to meet my "BB" tomorrow at 2pm. Hopefully, she (I feel like BB is a strong female) will hang on in the morning to meet her well prepped home.
It's 2 days of bed rest after that. Looking forward to room service (which may mean TR making a trip to Naked Pizza!!)
Me wit ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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