My Rainbow Baby is Here!!!

My sincerest apologies for not writing sooner. I have been slightly busy for the last 2 months moving and having a baby. Its completely surreal and I dont think its actually kicked in that I am a mom. Mom. Mother. Matriach. Momma. Madre.  Its just doesn't seem real.

As I said, I moved at 38 weeks into a first floor apartment in the county and closer to my parents. I rented out my condo to a resident at Hopkins so that was a huge relief. My mom pretty much unpacked my entire apartment the first week. I was so miserable with her in my ribs and barely eating due to feeling so full. She never dropped so she wrapped those toes around my ribs until the end. I was so happy I had taken the last week off before delivery. Here is my last photo before meeting my sweet girl.

At 39 weeks and 1 day, I checked into Mercy Hospital for my scheduled c-section. My parents picked me up and took me to the hospital where Lynell and my Doula, Emily met us there. You could feel the anxiety my parents were feeling. They weren't allowed to come back to the pre-op area with me. Lynell came back while we waited for Emily. My IV was started, the nurse shaved me  and I was asked a zillion questions. The anesthesiologist came to meet me and go over the process. I was told that they were running late and the woman next to me hadn't even gone back as yet. I spent the next hour getting more nervous and anxious. More about the procedure than actually meeting my daughter.

Despite having a 10 am scheduled c-section, they took me back around 11. Usually you walk back however I was so shaky, Rob allowed me to be wheeled. I recall the cold room, the doctors and nurses getting everything set up. The metal instruments off to the side. Dr. Chen admisistered the spinal (which was a piece of cake compared to the rest) and immediately my legs went numb and I lay down on the table. The rest is a big blur but it was a very short time to prep me and begin the c-section.

At 1137 am I heard the most amazing cries of my daughter. I cried. They took her to clean her and clear her lungs as she had meconium. She was 7 lbs 3 ozs and 20 inches long. She was perfect. Once she was wrapped up she was given to Lynell to hold while I was sewn up.

Zola Pearl.

The rest is really the start of me going downhill. I started to get the shakes from the drop in hormones and fluids. The shakes are common however they continues for the next 2 days. Although that is part of my birth story I don't want to focus on what happend to me as part of my recovery. I want to focus on the joy of my baby.

We spent the next 5 days at Mercy. Feeding. Getting to know her and healing. My mom, Momma Jilly spent the whole time with me in the hospital and the next 2 weeks with me at home. We took time to get to know each other. Zola was pretty content as long as you held her and fed her. The first 3 weeks were pretty much a blur of eating, diapering, burping and sleeping (Ha not really).

I can tell you that I am in love. I have never loved somone so much. I can't wait to share my journey with Zo when she is old enough. To let her know how much she was wanted and the road to bring her to me. I was reminded today that my 4 losses brought her to me. My 4 babies. My 4 angels lead me to my rainbow. They are watching down on her. She will know of them and this journey from beans to rainbow baby.