Thelma

Sometimes signs of our village are where you least expect them. That's definitely the case while relaxing and shopping in beautiful sunny Atlanta.

I was standing in line at a local Ross store (which was a really nice one by the way) and two gentleman started a conversation with this sweet lady behind me, Thelma. She was 84 years young and you could feel her spirit in the way she spoke and stood. Thelma told us about how she was married to her high school sweetheart for over 26 years. She went on to tell us she married her 2nd husband (smirking that she courted him while still married) and they have been married over 25 years. Her sweet smile, barely wrinkled cocoa skin and short white hair were her physical traits that first greeted you. However, her general presence just gave me a sense of calm.

Clearly, the check out person was taking a long time because we continued to learn more about her. At one point, Thelma leans over to me, places her hand on my arm, and says with a sweet smile, "make sure you teach your children to be independent"

Chills. I just had chills when she said this to me and didn't fully comprehend it until I was telling BP about it in the car. Why would she tell me this? Where did it come from? Or was it the universe giving me a sign that it would be ok and I would meet my baby soon?

Moving onto IVF has been on my mind a lot lately, probably partly due to the cost, the unknown and the complete loss of control. For anyone that truly knows me they know, I need to feel in control. Professionally, this need to control things has mostly helped me advance in my career. However, over the past year, it's something that I have been examining within myself. Dealing with infertility, has required me to work on this internal need to control things. Infertility and the process that goes along with trying to overcome it, forces you to give up control. Control of ones body. Control of manipulating the process of conception. Control of wanting something so deeply.

These days, I focus on the things that "are in my control". How I spend my weekends and free time. How I spend my money outside of fertility. Where I go for fertility treatments. Not working on my days off. Trying to find the meaning in certain things.

Thelma was one of those things. I was meant to meet her. Her smile was telling me it's going to all be ok and her words, although she had no idea, were meant to comfort me.

Thank you, Thelma.